Last Words

I haven’t been around in a while and it’s because of some very stressful, emotional things. I’ll start at the beginning.

In November my Dad was feeling full all the time and it was progressively getting worse, to the point where he started having to remind himself to eat. Then a week before Thanksgiving, he was admitted to the hospital. He was having shortness of breath so he took himself in and they found fluid in his peritoneal cavity (called ascites). They ran some tests on the fluid, and it came back as cancer cells. They also found some blood clots in the lungs, but that was treatable with blood thinners.

The day before Thanksgiving he was discharged from the hospital, with instructions to meet with his PCM to do a PET Scan. During the waiting period (because of insurance) he had to take off from work and eventually took FMLA due to everything that had been going on. Fluid was building up REALLY quickly and he had to get drained every 2 weeks, with about 7-9 Liters of fluid (15-20 lbs worth). He got his PET scan, which the results were inconclusive. They couldn’t find the cancer, but wanted to start him on chemo treatments anyways. After the new year, they started talking to him about it and he decided to go ahead and do the treatments. He handled his first chemo treatment really well and he said he was feeling fine, other than some slight discomfort in his stomach. He basically said “things didn’t feel right”. I urged him to talk to his doctor about it, but I wasn’t sure if he had said much about it.

On 1/29 he sent me a text saying “Got drained 7 and a half liters, feel a lot better. Have a good night, love you guys”. I responded with “Love you too.” Those were my last words to him. I found out on 2/4/2015 that he had passed away. Unfortunately, from what one of his friends said, they hadn’t heard anything from him Sunday afternoon (Superbowl Sunday) and they think that is when he passed away because he didn’t return his texts nor did he answer the door.

My dad and I right before I walked down the aisle.
My dad and I right before I walked down the aisle.

I am heartbroken, and in denial. I had to go to Tucson to start some things, mostly things with the funeral home, getting the death certificate, etc. I had hoped beyond hope that he had a will, but he didn’t. This means I’ll have to go to Tucson a few more times for meetings with lawyers, probate court, etc. I can’t sell anything of his yet (as far as cars/his house) until I get appointed as executor…which is where we run into a problem. My dad has a son who he hasn’t had a great relationship with, and hasn’t talked to in years. Like at least 10 years. This could really put a wrench in trying to get his stuff sold. I would like to think that his son wouldn’t be money hungry and try to block me, but you never know. Death brings out the worst in people.

Please pray for my family. Right now is a rough time. I’m trying to be strong, but I’ll be honest….I’m not strong. I’m angered by the fact that my dad’s life was cut short. I’m sad that he went days before being found. I’m shocked by how quickly everything happened. Most importantly, I am so heartbroken that Rylie never got to meet such an amazing man. I pray that he’s at peace, that he’s happy, and that he’s watching over Rylie.

I’ll miss you so much, Dad.

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